Over nearly a decade, this small suburban backyard became the backdrop for our marriage, motherhood, grief, celebrations, and everyday life.
This post was therapeutic and bittersweet to write because it made me go through all of my old photos. We have lived a lifetime in this yard. From newlyweds sitting in lawn chairs on a concrete slab and zero privacy to an oasis that is filled with 2 beautiful girls playing all day and floating through the grass catching fireflies in princess pajamas.
Our grandparents have had dinners in this yard. They’re no longer with us, but their love of gardening continues to live through us. New babies have met their family members for the first time here. There have been tears of sadness and joy.
I remember on the afternoon of the day my grandmother passed away, my mom came over and started gardening with my older daughter. It was such a sight to behold. My mom who had just lost her mom. My daughter with my mom, now matriarch. While we were all processing our loss, the garden was a stabilizer. It was also one of my grandmother’s favorite places to be.
The House That Taught Us Functionality
We have continued to adapt and experiment with the space we have and the solutions we can figure out together.
We started from scratch on this 1948 house that probably wasn’t touched since the 70s–or earlier. The man who lived here before us was a bit of a hoarder but a genius in terms of maximizing space. He was a builder. A creator. Everything in the house had purpose — from custom, hand-made shelves over doorways to built-in storage in closets and a train room that spanned half of the basement. Tools galore.
Whenever we are trying to maximize functionality in our small space, we try to “channel Donald” and pay homage to his inventiveness.
When we first moved into this house, every single room needed a full renovation. That was daunting and it took us over 7 years to get all construction projects done from start to finish.
Through all of it, the yard has been our saving grace from April through October.
The First Summer Here
My previous apartment had “stoop access,” meaning I lived on the second floor of a traditional home and had no access to a yard–just a side stoop and entrance. I created a garden on the side of the house and sat on the stoop, which the provided zero privacy or peace.
As a teacher, I just wanted to be home for the summer, out of the stuffy school building, and enjoying the peace while I could.
So to move into a house with a yard was wonderful — except the state of the yard at move-in time was untoched.
Well… I should say it had much potential.
When we first moved in, there was just a patio slab of concrete off the back of the house. I distinctly remember our first summer in the house — I wanted desperately to read in the yard and have some peace after an insane school year and busy home year with house buying and moving.
I distinctly remember sitting in a lawn chair on that patio slab trying to read — with absolutely zero privacy. The neighbors next door are very close on our crowded 40×100 suburban lots. Every time they walked up and down the driveway, it felt like they were staring at me like a fish in a fishbowl.
Renovating Piece by Piece
Then came the stages of much-needed improvement: new driveway, new front walkway, new patio.
I picked the stone slab with the red brick border, which was unconventional. We went to several mason yards and were advised to do the opposite — red pavers, blue accent border.
No thank you — I knew exactly what I wanted and this was exactly it.
I love it. I have zero regrets.
The stone looks established without meaning to — which is something we wanted to do since the house is so old. We wanted new construction to look intentional and designed to match the nature of the home.
The footprint of our 1948 Cape Cod style house is small, so having a yard that could be used as an entertaining space was a top priority.
One of the phases of our construction was framing out a sliding door that would lead from the dining room directly into the backyard. We have not had the funds and did not want to undo the work we did with the patio to then put a stoop — and then lose space for our dining table that seats 8+ people when we need it to.
In hindsight, I wish we had come out an extra 2 feet for the patio to give us more room to move around furniture, but hindsight is 20/20. The next time a trusted contractor gives advice, I will be more apt to listen.
Privacy Changed Everything
Another intentional choice was to get a wood fence with a wooden arbor — which has become one of my favorite parts of our yard and honestly was one of the sticking points for my decision to want to move from this house.
We wanted to go off the back of the house to make more room for bedrooms and that would have meant undoing the work we had done on the patio and the arbor would have had to come down.
That was a dealbreaker — I love the yard as it is and would have had some serious regrets.
Emerging From the Darkness
The early years of our marriage were a rollercoaster of hope and despair. Together we have been through the worst of days and the most joyful moments.
Emerging from the darkness, we found ourselves in the yard. During Covid. Building and dreaming again for the first time in years.
He dreamt of a canopy and raised garden beds for vegetables. I dreamed of privacy and building peace on our 40×100 lot. Filling it with colors and textures that made my brain quiet.
He has been the driving force behind the yard renovations.
The yard has become our oasis. This is our 9th summer here in the house and it has evolved through a series of stages.
The Furniture Story
When the fence and arbor went up, it was life changing. We had privacy — a true boundary with the neighbors so their dogs no longer wandered into our yard and the neighbors stopped peeking through the bushes to see what home improvement project we were up to.
One night 8 summers ago, my mom came over to tell us that she saw the BEST teak chairs out for bulk garbage night.
They needed some care, but my husband has a tool for every job and is filled with immense accomplishment when he figures out how to fix things.
One feature that is both a drawback and a positive: the chairs are incredibly heavy. While they’re hard to move, they’re also nearly impossible for our children to climb on and tip over.
He made that teak look brand new and my mom’s news saved us over 2,000 on a perfect patio set that we will have for decades to come.
I scored a late-season sale on a teak table to match and it has served us well for years.
The Quest for Shade
Both our quest for shade and our seating arrangements have evolved over time.
Another thing that needed to evolve was our quest for shade. As our neighbors cut down their backyard trees one by one, we needed to find a solution.
One of those solutions was my husband bringing home a literal stick that he explained was a dogwood. He planted it close to the garage and put a ribbon on it so we would remember and take care.
8 years later and that tree is giving me amazing shade coverage as I sit writing this post. It also gives the view from our bedroom windows an upgrade. Rather than seeing into neighbors’ houses, we open the window to beautiful greenery that gives privacy and peace.
The shade situation: we had thought about doing a Sunsetter option but the cost was simply prohibitive and the chimney blocks the awning’s width potential.
We tried a giant umbrella for 2 seasons that absolutely did the job. With some twinkle lights underneath, we could spend evenings out there and not be scalded during the hot sun.
This was especially important to me as a new mom and my husband works ALL of his overtime hours during the summer months. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have the yard to enjoy through each of my daughters’ early years when you just want fresh air and a small activity rather than lugging everything to a location that may or may not go well.
As the girls got older and our extended families grew, we needed more living space out here on the patio and the base of the umbrella was a tripping hazard.
We needed a different solution.
My husband found a free-standing canopy on Amazon that has served us well for over 2 years. He built it himself in 1 afternoon with 2 kids underfoot.
The canopy retracts so in bad weather we can secure it and we can pull it back to allow the patio and cushions to dry.
We have no regrets… it’s perfect. It takes up no other room on the patio.
With industrial string light bulbs on both the canopy and our umbrella, I have been able to put the girls to bed at night and enjoy peace under the stars and string lights.
It’s perfection.
The Yard Became an Extension of Our Home
In March of 2020 — Covid shutdown time. So that means the sectional pictured has been in use for 6 seasons. (Link is to a similar one on Amazon.)
We have used it in the yard constantly and have carried it out to the front of the house for our annual block parties — where our friends and family have hung out to enjoy company and good eats.
There have been endless outside couch naps, snuggles with our daughters, and chapters read. It’s the place we immediately go to after a long day of work to let our days drain away as we look at the yard we have built section by section.
The patio is our gathering place for early morning reflections and evening debriefings. We have dinner out here almost every night, weather permitting. Whether it’s breakfast for dinner and hours of messy crafts when my husband is working and I’m just home with the girls or a big BBQ to celebrate a birthday or milestone, this patio has heard everything.
We are out here all the time. On days off, I make coffee and bring the girls outside as soon as possible — even in pajamas. It resets their rhythms just like mine and they absolutely love to be outside.
It sets the tone for the day and keeps the television off and my house clean inside.
The couch we have is made of acacia wood — and my husband has power washed it and restained it several times to keep it looking new.
One of his complaints (understandably so) is that much of our yard is maintenance heavy — the fence, teak, and couch all need to be stained and power washed yearly, if not every other year.
One of the considerations we are making for our new house plans is to have a black aluminum fence that harkens a wrought iron fence to keep maintenance down on what will be a double property from what we have now.
But I have to say — even though it’s a lot of upkeep, the yard is stunning and has a Hamptons-style color palette of rich wood, fresh green, and classic navy and white.
This yard has held everything.
Overtime decompressing. Couch naps. Summer dinners. Fireflies. Princess pajamas. Gardening. Grief. Joy. Hosting. New babies. Grandparents. Marriage. Peace.
We have truly lived a lifetime here.
Looking Toward the Next Old House
One of the things that is helping me with our next home renovation (we bought an 1888-built farmhouse that is totally gutted at the moment and waiting for permits to start some serious construction) is that as overwhelming as a full-house renovation is… we have done it before. Piece by piece.
This house taught us that homes evolve slowly. Spaces adapt alongside the people living in them.
It won’t be perfect at first, but it will be ours.
And as we live there we will continue to adapt the spaces for the vibe we want to achieve.
It doesn’t have to be perfect or instantly replaced if it needs a little TLC (tender love and care)… it just needs some elbow grease.
We will pay homage to Donald at our next address because through his legacy of showing us that everything has a function, we know we can make our “new” old home a perfect place for our growing family for years to come — one that solves the friction that we simply can’t solve with any more functionality in our current home.
We have maxed out.
But this house taught us something important.
It’s not about the raised flower bed from Amazon… the couch from Wayfair… the garbage-picked furniture… it was never about the stuff. It was about building a life that is lived on the hard days and the joyful days. It’s about creating a home.
A home is built piece by piece. A yard evolves season by season. A life is created in the ordinary moments — on the hard days and the joyful ones.
And somehow, on a crowded 40×100 suburban lot, we created peace.
If you love creating systems and spaces that make family life feel calmer, these posts continue the story:
• Teacher Mom’s Pool-to-Bedtime Routine — the summer evening rhythm that helps our home function during the busiest season of the year.
• Weekend Reset Routine for Busy Moms — the simple systems that help reset our home before another hectic week begins.
• Laundry Systems I’d Recreate in Any Home — the small-space laundry solutions that help our family stay organized in a home where every inch matters.
• What I Pack the Night Before for Pool Days — the tiny routines that make summer mornings with kids feel easier and calmer.
• Teacher Mom’s Summer Survival Guide: Pool & Beach Systems That Actually Work — the practical side of creating a summer that feels manageable, memorable, and fun.
Piece by piece, season by season, we’re still building home.
Spruceprints 